Shadow Hearts III: The Burden Of A Promise
by Tiger5913
Summary: Some promises are hard to keep, and even harder to cope with once they have been fulfilled. [Johnny x Shania, spoilers for the bad ending]


10/8/06

Disclaimer: The characters in this fic, such as Johnny, Shania, etc. don't belong to me; they are property of Aruze, so don't sue! ;.;

Dedications: God, my friends, my cousins, my readers, Aruze for gracing this magnificent RPG with yet another installment, and finally, X-SEED for bringing this game to us American fans.

Special dedication to: ariescelestial, for helping me by sharing her ideas and listening to all my senseless babble during the making of this fic.

**Shadow Hearts III: The Burden Of A Promise**

**By Tiger5913**

Johnny Garland always kept his promises.

No matter how daunting or arduous the duty and circumstance, if he gave his word, he would accomplish it.

A mere fortnight ago, he had made one such promise to a close companion that he was traveling with – a woman whom he secretly admired and harbored feelings for. What he had promised her was certainly not something that he wanted to do, but he was so enamored and worried about her that he'd sworn to the act to grant her desire and ease her inner torment. She looked so distraught and uncertain of her hidden ail-ness, especially when expressing her concern over the evil presence plaguing her, and he didn't want to see her in such a manner. The female warrior was usually very confident of herself – even to the point of being reckless on occasion – and it seemed unthinkable that he could witness her in this weakened, vulnerable state.

After the fateful battle where the group of traveling misfit heroes had saved the world from the malevolence of tremendous Malice, everyone had parted ways and returned to their own respective locations. The young New York detective was saddened that his favorite ally had declined his offer to stay with him in his agency, and decided to head back to the Grand Canyon with her ever-faithful bodyguard. Each day that she was gone, he thought about her and the long journey they shared together, constantly wondering how she was doing, and if she'd ever come visit him in the bustling city. More than once Johnny had considered crossing the country himself to go see her, but part of him was afraid that she would reject his gesture or worse, tell him to leave and never bother her again.

Two long weeks slowly passed by, and then the two friends were reunited at a most surprising and unusual spot: atop the highest ledge of the towering Empire State Building in New York City.

He was peering out his bedroom window one night and spotted a familiar slender figure standing under the shadowy veil of the bleak sky, unbeknownst to the city dwellers wandering around below. Nevertheless, the blond teenager knew that it was **her**; he had expected and feared this day would come, when he would be forced to hurt someone that he cared deeply for, but he had made a promise to do it. Johnny grabbed a few items in quick preparation and snuck outside through the fire escape as quietly as he could, not wanting to alert the attention of his butler, who would surely stop him. He quickly stole down the dark streets and cut across shady back alleys to reach his destination, and during his short trip, he was only thinking of the dreaded battle that loomed ahead, anticipating him, waiting for him.

The young detective arrived all too soon and upon his first sight of Shania, he felt his heart skip a beat in excitement, which happened quite often when he was around her. He started to open his mouth and greet her out of old habit, but one glimpse of her eyes told him that there was no time for casual conversation; blood-red irises bore into his green pair, the former completely void of emotion or recognition. The priestess was presently in her shapely human form, but Johnny knew that wouldn't last long, as the evil presence controlling her body would certainly have no qualms about using her spiritual powers. A wave of sadness suddenly hit the boy as he observed his friend in her current stoic, motionless state, and for a second he regretting making the promise to her, but it was too late now to go back on his word.

Neither fighter said a word, but in silent agreement they both got into their respective readying stances and then immediately dashed toward each other, effectively starting the battle.

When he later thought about it and looked back on the ill-fated fight that occurred, Johnny could only remember most of it being a blur, no matter how hard he tried to recall the specific details. One minute he was charging toward his former ally in combat, and the next moment he was watching her stagger, and then she slumped down to the floor with a fatal injury that had been inflicted upon her by his own hand. The battle, however long or short it had been, left him extremely fatigued and his muscles aching all over, but that was of little importance to him compared to what he had done to the woman he adored. After he rested a bit and regained enough strength to walk, the blond teenager got up and went to the side of his fallen friend, desperately needing to speak to her and beg for her forgiveness before she was gone.

Had she returned to her normal self? Did he grant her wish and free her from the control of malice? His light green eyes, full of anxious worry and adamant devotion, eagerly searched her face for familiarity as he gingerly cradled her head in the palms of his hands.

"Shania… I'm sorry," he mumbled to her, shame clearly in his voice while his mind was continuously wracked with blame and remorse at causing her so much physical pain.

Moving the little that she could, Shania managed to turn her head slightly to focus her gaze on the boy, and with a slight, shaky smile on her lips, she whispered quietly in reply, "Thank you… Johnny…"

Her final breath came and left.

Johnny was on the ledge for a long time on that bitterly frigid night, clutching the still body of his dearly departed companion to his chest, while his hot tears slowly trickled down to warm her cooling flesh.

-----

The blond detective moved through the rest of the week in a daze, and since he was unable to take on any new cases from his neighbors due to his severe inability to concentrate, he closed down the agency for the time being. Shania was constantly on his mind, and each thought of her was accompanied with guilt, remorse, longing… he missed her and wished to see her again, but he would always know that her death was his fault. And how ironic it was, that in order to fulfill his promise to set her free, he'd had to use Malice, the one thing that she hated the most and wanted to get rid of from infesting her body and soul. Johnny had been aided in the battle by his mysterious inner presence, Awaker – but of course, since only the Malice-infested creature could stand against her fusions – and it was that very same form that had struck the final blow.

Malice… a deadly power the teenage boy possessed and could utilize, but it wasn't something he wanted. Even up to the present day, he still had a hard time believing that he'd died five years ago and was only revived by usage of the detested personification of evil. Malice was clearly inside his body, and sometimes, he wondered if one day, it too would eventually overtake him and commit heinous acts, just like what had happened to the others like his sister, Killer, and Edna Capone. There was no doubt that eventually, Shania would also have succumbed to the same fate, except that Johnny had stopped her from walking down that vile path by ending her life. She had thanked him with her last breath, but despite her gratitude and him keeping his sworn pledge to help her, he still felt guilty for what he'd done; her dying smile was a beautiful, albeit haunting memory.

He still couldn't remember the entire battle very clearly, but a few things stood out in his mind to further torment him, such as the sadness in her eyes when the two friends looked at each other for the last time. The blond teenager had long since washed off her blood that stained his skin and clothes, but during the occasions where he was strongly agonizing over her, he could swear that he felt the weak warmth of her vitality slipping through his fingers. Johnny could close his eyes and refuse to see her chest exhale for the last time, but he would still hear her heartbeat weakly pulsating next to his ear, just as he had when he leaned down to listen and confirm that she was truly gone. Yes, he had done what his former companion had wished for, and yet a part of him was infected with self-loathing; he wasn't ever able to fully escape that feeling, no matter how many times he assured himself.

In all honesty, when Johnny had made his promise to the Native American priestess, he didn't really think that he would actually have to follow through and execute the act that he'd committed to. Without a doubt, Shania was one of the strongest people he knew, and yet she was unable to stop the hideous Malice from taking control of her mind – if an experienced and headstrong warrior like her was susceptible… wouldn't the same thing happen to him? Only time could tell his fate, but blond teenager wasn't sure he wanted to take that kind of chance; he didn't want to become a murderer and wreck havoc and destruction in innocent people's lives. Shania had waited because she wanted to be sure of herself, but she'd had Johnny as a back-up plan, and he would do anything for her. Like all of the other difficult trials he had surpassed for her, he had done it because he…

Lying restlessly on his bed, the young detective thought about her dilemma and silently wondered what he would do if he was ever put in the same distressful situation. After witnessing what happened to her, should he go out and find a friend as a failsafe just in case he also went crazy one day? Who would he trust with such a dangerous responsibility? …And did he really want to burden someone's precious conscience for the rest of their life? He carefully considered that possibility, but Johnny soon realized that he couldn't do it, even though his family butler, Lenny Curtis, was his close confidant and would have gladly helped him if he was overcome by the plague of Malice. The perturbed teenager sighed in mild frustration and closed his eyes, mentally deliberating his options before he came to a conclusion, and then, he made another promise, this one for himself, to Shania's memory.

And Johnny would, of course, keep his word.

He had willingly bound himself to freeing his dear friend because of his intense feelings for her, but he preferred that no one else, especially on his account, would experience his pain of guilt and his agony of loss.

-----

During the investigation following the tragic incident, the family butler, Lenny, admitted that his master had been visibly depressed lately, but never thought that it would have resulted in such an outcome. When questioned, the groundskeeper of the cemetery remarked that he remembered seeing the teenage boy almost every single day in the last week, and always standing by the same grave every time. His lean form would be stiff and still, while his head was ducked toward the earth and his eyes were fixated on the stone marker as if he was engraving the name into his memory. Despite the cold weather, he would stay at the gravesite for hours on end with a bundle of flowers clutched in one hand, which he only set down right before he departed, leaving an abundance of brilliant colors in a lifeless, bland area.

The groundskeeper also admitted that once, out of blatant curiosity, he had wandered over to the headstone to read the name on it, wanting to find out if he recognized the deceased person. While the surname was well-known in the neighborhood, the person was a stranger; but the Garland butler knew her, and explained to the investigators that she had been a close friend of the family. Nonetheless, the detectives asked if she'd ever had a non-platonic relationship with her visitor, but out of respect for his young master, the man declined to answer, even though he had a few guesses in regard to the feelings that he had for the woman. Lenny would not assist or hinder the investigation, as he wanted it to be done and over with as soon as possible, for he knew that they could only drag on the dreadful situation without being able to reach a definitive conclusion.

The name on the deceased woman's headstone was Shania Garland. His young master had his surname engraved on the surface because he once confessed to not knowing hers, but there surely was another reason as well, an unspoken one. He never mentioned or admitted to it, but Lenny strongly suspected that the boy had harbored romantic feelings for the female warrior. It was possible that his master had given her his surname because he secretly hoped that one day, after a few years of bonding, she would become a member of his family. Unfortunately, that wasn't to be, and maybe he hadn't been strong enough to deal with her death; she must have been greatly important to him if he would commit such a deadly and tragic act out of his apparent loneliness and the torment of his yearning for her.

And so now in the present day, it was up to Lenny to visit the cemetery and pay respects to the deceased, but unlike his young master, he had two graves to place flowers upon.

**The End**

**Author's Note:** Eek, what a sad story. :( Let me just say that I hate all of the bad endings in the Shadow Hearts series, and this is my first time writing a fic based on one of them. Yeesh, forget this depressing stuff; I need to get back to writing all those sappy, happy, mushy love stories, hehe. Naw, but seriously, it's good to take a break from the conventional style every-so-often. My next SH3 fic probably won't be out for a while because it's a difficult one, but I'll try to get it finished as soon as possible. Sorry for the long absence, folks, and I hope that this story was worth the wait. Thank you all for reading, and please leave a review to let me know what you think of this fic.

**With love for my fans,**

**Tiger5913**


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